Since Deng Jianjin’s works have the nature of readme of experience and memory, he has to face a real “self”. However, the real “selfness” often departures because of the conflict between human nature and cultural rationality. The desire is blocked and the violence is bred between people and people in the spiritual zone where men and women cannot communicate. “All violence originates from sex”. The real “selfness” in helplessness and anxiety finally held firearms sleepwalking to the “dark fantasy” with abuse, violence and crime. (See the series of The Sleepwalking Records About Witness). The elegant and magic illusion makes Deng Jianjin to doubt himself when he is looking for the value and significance of life. The spiritual crisis originates in being as a flesh man. “Men,” the birthright and unchangeable gender identity, as he said, its “mandatory and aggressive quality” “always leaves people in the ultimate and passive confusion.”